I Knew What Came Next. Waiting Was Still Hard.

By Dr. Steve Tieche, Co-Founder of Recharge Clinic

After reading my MRI report, my first instinct was to get the problem handled. I wanted to know what was there, decide what to do about it, and move on. I had already started thinking about treatment before I even had a biopsy.

That is easy to recognize when you are watching someone else do it. You can tell them not to get ahead of the results and remind them that there are still questions to answer. When it was happening to me, I understood all of that—and still found myself researching surgeons and thinking through what recovery might look like.

It felt like one more thing

Cynthia had just had surgery for her pituitary tumor. We were about a week into her recovery when my MRI results came back, and I remember being upset about the timing as much as anything else. We had just gotten through one major medical experience. Now we were facing another.

When I called her, she could tell I was upset. She remembers changing her plans and coming straight to the clinic because she wanted to see how I was doing. By the time she arrived, I had prayed about it and felt calmer.

I was not thinking that my life was over. I was thinking about how to deal with what might be ahead. But I also was not ready to work through everyone else’s worry while I was still processing my own.

Lauren had been calling to ask about the results. When I did not answer, she became more concerned and started calling Cynthia. I asked Cynthia to talk with her because I did not feel ready for that conversation yet.

It was not that I wanted to keep my family out of it. I knew they cared, and I knew they would be worried. I just needed a little time before I could be the person reassuring everyone else.

“Now I need a miracle”

Cynthia remembers me looking at her and saying, “You just had a miracle. Now I need a miracle.” I do not remember the exact words, but she does. She had come through her own experience with a great deal of faith and peace, and she brought that into mine.

She told me I was going to get my miracle. At the same time, she thought the biopsy would probably show cancer. We were not pretending the MRI was reassuring. We were facing what it said while praying about what would come next.

Prayer helped me. After I prayed, I felt more at ease about the outcome, whatever it might be. That did not mean I stopped making appointments, researching my options, or thinking about the procedure. It meant I was not carrying the same level of worry through every part of the day.

Cynthia was praying every day too. She had just experienced what it was like to be the patient, and now our roles were changing again. She understood why the waiting mattered and why I wanted answers.

Being a doctor did not make the appointment happen overnight

I knew the type of biopsy I wanted. My MRI had identified specific areas of concern, and I wanted an MRI-fusion-guided biopsy so those images could help guide the sampling. I also wanted to be sedated for the procedure.

Our office contacted two places and kept checking for an opening. That involved repeated phone calls and waiting, just as it does for many of the patients we refer. Eventually, a cancellation helped us get an appointment sooner than we otherwise would have.

It was still several weeks between the MRI and the biopsy. That is a long time when you want to know what is happening in your body. I understood that the physicians were busy and that there were other patients who needed care. Understanding the scheduling process did not make it less frustrating to be waiting in it.

I would think about the suspicious findings and wonder why we could not get the answer more quickly. Then I would remind myself that the appointment was being arranged and that we were doing what we could. There was no special physician shortcut that made the uncertainty disappear.

My mind had already moved ahead to treatment

During that time, I thought about who I would see if the biopsy confirmed cancer. I researched physicians who performed prostate surgery and considered what treatment might involve. I also thought about possible side effects and how I would deal with them.

At one point, I wanted to skip ahead and have my prostate removed. I was tired of it being an unresolved issue in my life. But wanting to be finished with the problem did not remove the need to establish what the problem actually was.

The biopsy still had to come first. I knew that, even while I was making plans for what might happen afterward.

I talked with Cynthia about it, but I probably thought about it more than I talked about it. I had gone through quite a few possibilities in my own mind before we ever arrived for the procedure.

Then it was time to be the patient

The night before my biopsy, I did not sleep particularly well. I was thinking about the procedure and trying not to get too worked up about it. The next morning, I was focused on getting ready and keeping myself reasonably calm.

We went to a hospital I was not familiar with, and I did not know the practitioners taking care of me. They were kind, and I had no difficulty letting another physician do the procedure. Still, there is a difference between knowing that someone is experienced and knowing exactly what your own experience will feel like.

I wondered how deeply sedated I would be, whether I would feel anything, and how uncomfortable I might be afterward. Those were the questions occupying my attention that morning. The possible results were still there, but first I had to get through the biopsy.

As an anesthesiologist, I was familiar with sedation from the physician’s side. That did not make me immune to being a little nervous when I was the one receiving it.

The recovery was easier than I expected

When I woke up, I was mostly groggy. I had some soreness that felt as though I had sat down hard on something, but it was manageable. I think I took one pain pill that first day.

By the next day, there was very little soreness. I did not have the bleeding or difficulty going to the bathroom that I had wondered about beforehand. For me, the recovery was fairly uneventful, which was a relief.

Once the procedure was over, my attention shifted immediately to the results. The thing I had been waiting weeks to get done was finally finished. Now there was another answer to wait for.

The biopsy was on a Friday. I had been given a follow-up appointment to discuss the results about two weeks later, so I did not know how quickly I would hear anything. We went home, and I found myself thinking about what those samples were going to show.

By then, I expected the answer to be cancer. I had not been told that by the biopsy team; it was the conclusion I had reached in my own mind after the MRI. That expectation had started to feel very real, even though the most important result was still missing.

In the final part of this series, I’ll share what happened when my patient portal notification arrived—and why I was still rereading the report in the middle of the night.

Frequently asked questions

Was getting a biopsy appointment easier because you are a physician?

It was not immediate. Our office repeatedly checked for openings, and a cancellation helped us get in sooner.

Why did you choose an MRI-fusion-guided biopsy?

My MRI had identified specific areas I wanted evaluated, and I wanted the imaging used to help guide the sampling.

Were you nervous about the procedure?

Yes. I wondered about the sedation, whether I would feel anything, and how sore I might be afterward.

How was your recovery?

I was groggy and mildly sore that first day. By the next day, I had very little soreness. That was my experience.

What helped you through the waiting?

Prayer, Cynthia’s support, and knowing we were continuing to take the necessary steps. I wanted it done sooner, but I stayed with the process.

Do not let the next step get lost

When your provider recommends follow-up, make sure you know what needs to happen and whom to contact. At Recharge Clinic, we help patients understand their results and coordinate further evaluation when needed. Schedule a visit in Ocala, Lady Lake/The Villages, or Clermont to discuss your concerns.

References:

1. MRI Ultrasound Fusion-Guided Biopsy – National Cancer Institute